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In this day and age, there has been a rising hot issue that young generation whether should adopt their traditional patterns or not. Although I have to admit that this trend will a lot of benefits for youngsters, I would argue that it will better for young people if they can have the chance to behave freely

On the one hand, it is widely believed that the young generation ought to follow the traditions of their nations. There are some reasons to explain this tendency. Firstly, traditional methods help people to have a deepened understanding of societal standards. The previous generation went through a host of difficulties and barriers to accumulate meaningful lessons so that they can spread to youngsters. Thanks to this, young people will have more proper behaviors in their lives. For instance, traditions can teach the young how to show their respect and gratitude to ancestors or grandparents and parents in their family. Furthermore, those social norms will lay the foundation for their future career path , they will easily gain success in this society as there are some kinds of traditional worths will be likely to be suitable for young people to apply to job orientation in the upcoming years.

On the one hand, I also share the concerns of people that it will do wonders for young people to select what they desire. First of all, the young people will have the opportunity to develop their innate talents and discover new things in their life which not obey any social standards of the country. For example, instead of forcing youngsters to follow the footsteps of the previous generation related to future occupation, Parents should let the young be free to choose the kind of job they want. Secondly, when youngsters have to embrace the old traditions, they will be prevented chances to expose to state-of-the-art technology, leading to stagnant growth to a certain extent in an economic area for nation.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that though there are many advantages in following societal norms, it will be a good choice for youngsters to have the right to do anything they yearn for.


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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic:

Some people feel that young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others, however, believe that young people should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


My essay:

(Your text here...)
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In this day and age, there has been a rising hot issue (There is no "hot issue". There is no debate. You are only being asked for an opinion on this topic. Many essay writers exaggerate with such expressions, and it is not a good academic style.) that young generation whether (ungrammatical) should adopt their traditional patterns or not. Although I have to admit that this trend will a lot of benefits for youngsters, (In the US, a "youngster" is a child who is younger than a teenager. This word is quite casual and informal and should not be used in essays.) I would argue that it will better for young people if they can have the chance to behave freely (Missing punctuation)

On the one hand, it is widely believed that the young generation ought to follow the traditions of their culture. (A nation can have many cultures. For example, in the US, there are native Americans and immigrants from Vietnam. The traditions of these two cultures are not in any way similar.) nations. There are some reasons to explain this opinion / advice / recommendation / belief. tendency. (wrong word. You have not described any tendency.) Firstly, First, adhering to traditional dress and holidays and eating traditional dishes methods (wrong word) help people to have a deepened understanding of societal standards. The previous generation went through a host of difficulties and barriers to accumulate meaningful lessons (This is off-topic. It is about the long-term practices of a society, not the difficulties of one generation.) so that they can pass on to their children. spread to youngsters. Thanks to this, young people will have more proper behaviors in their lives. For instance, traditions can teach the young how to show their respect and gratitude to ancestors, or grandparents and parents in their family. Furthermore, those social norms will lay the foundation for their future career path , spacing error and comma splice error) they will easily gain success in this society as there are some kinds of traditional worths (wrong word) will be likely to be suitable (You have lost control of the sentence structure here. It is ungrammatical.) for young people to apply to job orientation (wrong word) in the upcoming years.


On the one hand, (wrong expression) I also share the concerns of people that it will do wonders for them young people (use pronouns to avoid repetition) to do select what they desire. First of all, the young people will have the opportunity to develop their innate talents and discover new things in their life which not obey (Ungrammatical) any social standards of the country. For example, instead of forcing them youngsters to follow the footsteps of the previous generation related to their future occupation, Parents (wrong capitalization) should let the young be free to choose the kind of job they want. Secondly, Second, when youngsters they have to embrace the old traditions, they will be prevented chances to expose to (ungrammatical, wrong verb form) state-of-the-art technology, leading to stagnant growth (stagnant means "no growth at all", so "stagnant growth" makes no sense. ) to a certain extent in an economic area for stagnation in the nation's economy. nation.


In conclusion, I firmly believe that though there are many advantages in following societal norms, it will be a good choice for youngsters to have the right to do anything they yearn for.